Sex.

There is not much debate about the morality of adultery: most people are against it. Everyone understands that it is the most fundamental kind of betrayal: to sleep with a married person is to destroy a marriage and family and to risk tremendous damage and hurt to innocent children. But about pre-marital sex, the consensus is not strong. People say things like, “I wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them on,” as though the spiritual mysteries of love-making and God’s design for a family were no more meaningful than changing your shoes. This is because of the prevalence of atheism and evolution: when you look at life from a god-less perspective, it’s just sex. It means nothing. You’re no different than dogs in heat. But that is a GIGANTIC lie.

You were created by God, in God’s image! He has plans and purposes for you that are infinitely more meaningful than His plans for animals. YOU have meaning. Your LIFE has meaning. Your HEART has meaning. Your BODY has meaning. And there are spiritual dimensions involved that cannot be understood by the lost (I Cor.2:14). A marriage is a holy promise to God, and God takes that seriously, even when we do not. Marital intimacy is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church. It is a mystery, and you must respect it. Those who do not will suffer in so many ways: broken marriages, barrenness, rebellious children, and more. Pre-marital sex creates flashbacks in the one spouse, and insecurity in the other. It causes you to take your vows less seriously AFTER marriage because you never respected them BEFORE marriage. It carries diseases. There is the risk of pregnancy and the way that turns lives upside-down.

God’s law speaks seriously on the matter:

“[If a woman is found to be a non-virgin at her marriage, the elders] will bring the woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city will stone her to death. For she committed an outrage in Israel by being promiscuous in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from you.” Deuteronomy 22:21.

The Death Penalty? So, premarital sex was a CAPITAL OFFENSE? Wow.

And what about the children conceived out of wedlock? Is that serious? I think God takes it seriously, what do you think after reading the verse below?:

“No one of illegitimate birth may enter the Lord’s assembly [group worship]; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, may enter the Lord’s assembly.” Deut. 23:2

Illegitimate children are banished from the temple for ten generations! (Again, God not only takes your choices seriously, but He gives incredible regard to your family tree! Can you imagine that your failure could impact your descendants for ten generations? That’s at least 200 years!)

Of course, we love sinners, and we must be compassionate toward both the saved and the lost. Only God can judge. And we must have compassion for children born out of wedlock—it’s not their fault. But you can be compassionate with your brother while remaining loyal and obedient to God’s Word. Grace toward the sinner does not mean you join them in their sin.

You know what the best gift you will ever give your spouse is? Your virginity. That is not a gift to be wasted before marriage, whether you date for years or it’s just a casual hook-up. God has strong words for those who treat virginity with contempt. Although we may not understand this mystery, we must obey God and walk by faith. Extra-marital sex, whether before or after the wedding, is a serious matter. You MUST train yourself to see it the way your Creator sees it. It’s not about you and your pleasures. Life is about serving Him and staying in the center of His will.

Ask God to help you see this matter exactly the way He sees it. Ask Him to strengthen you to stand against the never-ending river of lies on this subject. Ask Him also to make your heart and your imagination as obedient and loyal as your physical body.

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