Having been a child, student, parent, and teacher, I have thought a lot about punishments. Here’s one of the best rules I learned from a college psychology professor:
“Punishment should be swift, severe, and soon over.”
Children must be punished quickly if they are going to “learn their lesson.” And only a severe punishment works: it should get their attention. Finally, punishments should not drag on for weeks and weeks. “Revolving grounding,” is a terrible thing to do to a child.
I learned another lesson while teaching high school students: a punishment can go too far. I have never met a teacher who did not raise his or her voice at some time. Fussing at the kids is unpleasant, but not unusual. If you disagree, spend a few days outnumbered 30-to-1 as a substitute teacher. Furthermore, some children refuse to take teachers seriously until they see them angry. Children are not delicate flowers that wilt under the heat of an angry glare or a cross word.
Nevertheless, punishment can go too far. Ancient Israel had no jails, and most crimes worthy of imprisonment today resulted in a flogging—but a whipping can go too far.
“He may be flogged with forty lashes, but no more. Otherwise, if he is flogged with more lashes than these, your brother will be degraded in your sight” Deuteronomy 25:3.
A punishment should not be degrading. Authorities—teachers, principals, parents—must punish without disrespect. You must not humiliate or shame a child. Even when you are angry, be careful what you say. “Be angry, and yet do not sin” Ephesians 4:26. Raise your voice if you must, but do not make it personal. Punishment should not be revenge. I remember angrily responding to a student once. I raised my voice: “That was a really stupid thing to say!” I immediately clarified my words, “and I didn’t say you were stupid, but what you said was stupid.”
Learn to punish without humiliation. Respect the dignity of the guilty party, even when he respects no one.
ΑΩ
Household Words: 