Most begin with looks. That’s natural, since you see a person long before you have a chance to meet. But there is so much more to relationships. I used to talk to high school classes about a friend of mine who was always on the heavy side, but girls were lined up to date him. Why? Because he was the absolute best listener any of us had ever met. He was a GENIUS at asking good questions, listening to the answers, and asking interesting follow-up questions. He could spend ten minutes with a girl and learn things none of her boyfriends had ever learned. He made a girl feel she was being HEARD for the first time, that for once a guy was actually listening to what she had to say. It was an extraordinary gift. To this day, I can’t go to a high school reunion without having a dozen girls ask me about him. “You were Chris’s friend, right? How’s he doing?” They adored him—and they remember him fondly all these years later.
Relationships are not about looks. It’s PERSONALITY.
How well do you communicate?
Some of the other keys are character, integrity, patience, kindness, romance, fun, shared interests, and shared values. The better you know each other, the less of a role outward appearance plays. Proverbs points that out.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain [pointless and of no value], but the woman who fears the Lord, SHE shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30.
Memorize this verse! It is a PROFOUND truth. Forget beauty: you need a woman or a man who FEARS THE LORD. That is the one worthy of your praise and affection.
Ask God to help you see people the way HE sees them. Don’t be influenced by outward appearance—or try to be LESS influenced by outward appearance.
Try to see people the way God does: “for God does not see as man sees, for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7.
Read through this again, talking to God about applying these truths to your life.
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