His Desire is Toward Me. Song of Solomon 7:10.

I saw an interesting video from a Ring doorbell. An older British man knocked on a door and fussed at his young British neighbor who answered:

“I have a complaint for you. You have caused me a great deal of trouble.”

“Ay, how’s that?”

“You sent flowers to my wife.”

“Right, because I knew she had just come off hospital.”

“Right. I know she just come off hospital. She is my wife, after all. But I never buy her flowers, do you understand? Now you’ve caused me a great deal of grief, sending my wife flowers and all like that.”

“How’s that then?”

“My wife. I’ve never bought her flowers. Don’t buy her flowers or chocolates or presents or jewelry or none like that. And I’ve got her used to it. And here you go buying her flowers for coming off hospital. And now she’s saying, wouldn’t it be nice if I were to buy her flowers now and again. Now come on. You’ve got no right to be sending me wife flowers!”

“I was only wishing her well, you see.”

“Yes, I see. But you’ve got no right. You should have come to me first. You need to be running them flowers through me. Because now you’ve got my wife dreaming of me buying her flowers and things. Next time, you need to leave well enough alone.”

This old bloke is clearly not a romantic. In fact, he sounds selfish. He never buys her anything? I admit that there is a continuum: some men shower their ladies with flowers and gifts year-round. Others do as little as possible, as seldom as possible. But never? Never, EVER?

I won’t argue there is a Biblical mandate. But if the Song of Solomon is a guide, all of us—men and women both—could probably do better, not only at gift-giving, but more importantly, at speaking simple words of affirmation. Do we affirm the people we love? Do we do it regularly?

Consider the way the groom treats his bride. What an exercise in words of affirmation:

“How beautiful are thy feet … Thy [knees] are like jewels … Thy navel is like … Thy belly is like … Thy two breasts are like … Thy neck is as … Thine eyes are like … Thy nose is as … Thine head upon thee is like … and the hair of thine head is like … How fair and pleasant are thou, O love, for delights! Thy stature is like to a … and thy breasts to …” Song of Solomon 7:1-7.

What a conversation. It is so simple. The man just starts at her feet and praises her beauty all up and down her body. It is simple, but you can imagine how much it means to his bride. And the result is that she is confident in his love. Her answer?

“I am my beloved’s and his desire is toward me” Song of Solomon 7:10.

She is confident in his love because he makes an effort to put it into words. And he does so regularly.

Are you confident in God’s love for you? If not, give the Lord a chance to affirm you. How? By spending more time reading his love letter to you. Spend time in the word and eventually you will be able to say about God: “I am my beloved’s and his desire is toward me.”

AΩ