What do most immigrants to the United States want their children to do? Go to med school, of course! The idea has become such a stereotype, standup comics make millions telling jokes about it. But the stereotype is not untrue. Parents of every stripe, of every American ethnicity and culture have imagined their children as doctors and lawyers, engineers and accountants.
As children develop their interests and talents, the dreams of parents re-align to match those talents: we dream athletes will go pro, we dream musicians will join the New York Philharmonic or make millions banging drums in a rock band. We dream big and encourage children to do the same. The truth is, most children will find work doing less dramatic things. Most will work quietly in an office somewhere doing things no one makes movies about. If only parents could write letters of recommendation for their own children!
God gave young David the ultimate letter of recommendation. When he selected David to be king of Israel, God told Samuel that David was “a man after God’s own heart” 1 Samuel 13:14. Can you imagine putting that on your resume? King David grew up herding sheep, but God got involved and grew him into a worthy king, probably the greatest king of Israel. God told David that one day the Messiah would come from the line of David—what a legacy!
David’s children were a disaster.
Amnon raped his half-sister, Tamar. Absalom then murdered Amnon. Years later, Absalom rebelled against his father, gathered an army, tried to steal his father’s crown, and ended up dead. Solomon was not the disappointment Absalom was, but Solomon’s children fell into civil war and David’s kingdom would be divided for two centuries, before finally being conquered and split up among occupying powers.
After the high priest Jehoiada restored the crown to his nephew, the rightful king Joash, young Joash reigned well. But when the high priest died, Joash led Judah into idol worship. God raised up the priest’s son Zechariah to rebuke the idol worshippers, but the men stoned him to death.
“Thus Joash the king remembered not the kindness which Jehoiada his father [uncle] had done to him, but slew his son” 2 Chronicles 24:22.
God did not overlook the murder of his prophet but sent Syria to attack Judah.
“The army of the Syrians came with a small company of men, and the Lord delivered a very great host into their hand, because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers. So they executed judgment against Joash. And when they were departed from him … his own servants conspired against him for the blood of the sons of Jehoiada the priest, and slew him on his bed, and he died” 2 Chronicles 24:24-25.
What happened to the line of David, that even the good men fell into idol worship?
What HAPPENED to the line of David?
Sure, we remember David’s sins. He murdered Uriah and stole his wife. But he was also the one God described as “a man after God’s own heart.” He wrote half the book of Psalms. David wrote so many worship songs! Songs so good, God thought we should have copies of 72 of them. This is also the man with so much integrity he would not lay a finger on King Saul, no matter how Saul chased him and how badly Saul wanted to murder him. David sinned horribly, but he also served God faithfully for many years. Yet, his lineage is a mess.
What were David’s dreams for his children? What are your dreams for your children?
We know it’s not really about their career path. We want our adult children to be happy, well-adjusted, surrounded by loving friends and family, and busy with meaningful, creative, rewarding work. And there is only one way to ensure they have such a life: they must walk with God. That’s what we really want, is it not?
We want our children to love Jesus.
How? Is there any way I can ensure that my children will “live a life pleasing to the Lord” Colossians 1:10?
SHORT ANSWER? No.
LONGER ANSWER? Yes, but.
You cannot control the choices your adult children make.
Often siblings will make quite different choices, though both were raised by the same parents. This common observation indicates the first rule relevant to the lives of adult children: DON’T BLAME THE PARENTS. I know it’s tempting. But not only everyday life, but the Bible itself is filled with examples of good parents whose children did not turn out so good.
Don’t blame the parents.
But knowing you cannot control your children’s lives, there are some things you can control.
Be a serious disciple of Christ yourself.
Read the word. Apply the Word to your life. Memorize the word. Pray the word. And Share the word with others. Model the habits of a serious disciple of Christ. (“Discipleship is caught, not taught.”)
Pray for the right spouse—and pray for your spouse.
Besides you, no one but your spouse will so greatly influence your children.
You can also control how much you pray for your children. Pray more!
As David prayed:
“Give my son Solomon a whole heart to keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes” 1 Chronicles 29:19.
Or as Samuel put it:
“God forbid that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you” 1 Samuel 12:23.
Don’t hesitate to add fasting to the spiritual disciplines you exercise on behalf of your children. Once they are grown, prayer and fasting are about all you can do!
You can also control your example.
Set a good example, in word and deed. Speak kindly. Be an encourager. Be a humble servant. Love your family. Work hard on the job. In short, be the best you can be. Set the example.
Teach your children about the Lord.
Parents are the most important teachers children will ever have.
Finally, model Christ’s love, compassion, grace, hope, faith, and joy.
Have fun with your children! Show them that life is exciting and fun and that there is always hope in Christ, no matter the struggles. Show them by your own example that no matter what you may face, the joy of the Lord will get you through it.
Dear Lord, help us to do the best we can for our children by serving you! Help us to make you our top priority, so that all the rest will fall into place. May we honor you with our Bible study, our hard work, our grace, love, and forgiveness. Make us more like Jesus every day, and never let us forget to pray hard for our children and families.
AΩ
Household Words: 