In the spring of 1985, our family of four drove to Baton Rouge to see my grandfather one last time. The man was born in a house in the woods in 1897, and doctors said he had little time left. After nearly a fifty-year career in the world’s largest oil refinery, the emphysema had taken a toll. Of course, Willie Wales was also 88 years old. He had lived with the lung disease for a long time.
My aunt Joyce, a nurse, had installed a hospital bed in her master bedroom, and although I know Paw Paw did not spend all his time in bed that weekend, he was in the bed on the morning we left. My brother and I were in high school. I remember coming into the room to say goodbye to him one last time. He knew he would never see us again.
But like my father, my talkative grandfather could be shy, a man of few words when it came to personal matters. And he may have had a lump in his throat. I’ve been told I’m a lot like him. But I was 17 years old. I was trying to be polite and hoping not to say the wrong thing—as I usually did. I was too distracted to analyze what Paw Paw may have been feeling.
But it must be hard to say goodbye—even when you are going to a better place. Such permanent goodbyes are not easy.
Paw Paw was always an affectionate man. I’m sure we hugged him and felt his sandpaper cheeks and looked into his blue eyes one last time. Then he looked at the two of us and offered what for Dennis and me became Paw Paw’s ‘famous last words.’
“Well. Y’all boys be good.”
“We will.”
And we smiled and slipped out of the room. Talk about a man of few words!
By contrast, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, and David each gave lengthy “deathbed speeches.”[1] Of course, Moses was neither sick, nor in a bed. In fact, the Bible says he was 120 years old and “his eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated” Deuteronomy 34:7.
But God had revealed to Moses that he would soon ascend Mount Nebo, take in a long, slow view of the promised land, then die and be buried by the hand of God in an unmarked grave[2]. Knowing he and the nation would soon part—ending forty years under his leadership (a career that began when he was 80 years old!)—Moses prepared a word of blessing for the nation. He proceeded through the tribes. Though I am not articulating every trait listed, notice how different the brief blessings are:
- REUBEN. “Let Reuben live and not die, nor let his men be few” Deuteronomy 33:6.
- JUDAH. “May you be a help against enemies” Deuteronomy 33:7.
- LEVI. “They shall teach Israel Your law” Deuteronomy 33:8-11.
- BENJAMIN. “The beloved of the Lord” Deuteronomy 33:12.
- JOSEPH—through his sons EPHRAIM and…
- MANASSEH. “Let the blessings come” Deuteronomy 33:13-17.
- ZEBULUN and…
- ISSACHAR. “They shall take of the abundance of the seas” Deuteronomy 33:18-19.
- GAD. “He dwells as a lion” Deuteronomy 33:20-21.
- DAN. “A lion’s whelp” Deuteronomy 33:22.
- NAPHTALI. “Full of the blessing of the Lord” Deuteronomy 33:23.
- ASHER. “Most blessed of sons” Deuteronomy 33:24-25.
- *SIMEON was not mentioned by Moses. (Feel free to dive into that controversy, but it does not concern me here.)
This list does not seem fair, does it? Why does Levi get to teach the law to the nation, while Issachar will “take of the abundance of the sea”? Why is Asher the “most blessed of sons,” while Simeon is not even mentioned?
God’s blessings are not passed out evenly.
God’s blessings are uneven.
God is just and holy, but He never pretends to make everything “fair.” (And fair is a human construct, a broken shadow of God’s holiness and justice.)
Still, it is tough to see someone else receive a blessing that you do not receive.
It is tough to see a coworker promoted when you know they do not deserve it.
I have seen that sort of thing many times. It can be maddening. But you must let it go! God gives one person—or one tribe—a set of gifts that He does not give to another person. God’s blessings are uneven. Someone you work with is smarter than you. Or prettier than you. Or more popular. Or maybe they are paid more money but all they have is personality and charm, while you have bona fide credentials.
It has happened to all of us. In fact, God seems to particularly allow such things to happen around His children. What a great way to remind you to stay humble! Think of it this way:
Would you rather be humbled when a coworker is given a promotion that should have been given to you, or humbled by a failure of your own making?
“But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired” 1 Corinthians 12:18.
Dear God, thank you for the gifts you have given us. May we never fall into the sin of comparison. Show us when we are envious of others. Humble us. Help us to balance dreams and goals with humility and submission to You and Your will and Your wisdom. And thank you especially for seasoned Christians like my grandfather who live lives of absolute integrity decade-after-decade. May we be worthy of those who have gone before us.
AΩ.
[1] The term “deathbed speeches” comes from https://www.thetorah.com/article/the-two-blessings-of-the-twelve-tribes-varying-perspectives-similar-function.
[2] Having just written about the importance of words carved in stone, particularly those on tombstones and other memorials, it seems ironic that Moses was buried without such a stone. But God knew the people would make an idol of the grave, Deuteronomy 34:6. (Look at the way people react to Elvis’s tomb at Graceland.)
Household Words: 