No One Will Remember You.

I watched a show by ancestry[dot]com. The host took people through their family trees. One had a cousin who had awarded to President Kennedy the keys to Mexico City. It was pretty amazing to see who they were related to—but also sad that it could be forgotten so quickly. And you and I have amazing family trees, but SO MUCH has already been forgotten. And I will be forgotten. And you will be forgotten. Soon no one on earth will know we were ever here.

“For there is no more remembrance of the wise than of the fool forever, Since all that now is will be forgotten in the days to come.” Ecclesiastes 2:16.

The Bible speaks the blunt, honest truth. Even if you are famous today—you will be forgotten. So what do we do with that truth? Walk with God:

“Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth before the evil days [aging and sickness] come and the years draw near when you will say, ‘I have no delight in them.’” Ecclesiastes 12:1.

You see, only God will remember you forever. Only Jesus will know you and love you forever. As Casting Crowns sings:

“And I, I don’t want to leave a legacy

I don’t care if they remember me

Only Jesus

And I, I’ve only got one life to live

I’ll let every second point to Him

Only Jesus.”

Nothing else matters. And honestly, no one else cares. No one cares about what you do—not forever, not for eternity. But Jesus knows every step you take, every choice you make. He literally NUMBERS the hairs on your head—and those that fall out. He is totally into you.

Live for Him. Every second. Ask Him to help you every day, every moment.

ΑΩ

DON’T LET YOUR GOAL BECOME YOUR IDOL: Enjoy the Process & Trust God With the Results.

Are you goal-oriented? Motivated by achievements? I am. Absolutely. I’m not sure I’m motivated by anything else. I often think about my goals, tallying up whether I have accomplished them—even the meaningless goals. For example, I have written 475 book reviews (reviews, not ratings) on Goodreads[dot]com.  My goal is to write 1,000. I have a LONG way to go.

Small goals are not that distracting. But when you are about to achieve a big goal—when you can finally see it, hear it, taste it—after a lifetime of dreaming and trying, the goal can dazzle you.  Imagine a football player running 99 yards for his first NFL touchdown—and as he gets closer and closer to the end zone everything begins to blink and flash and blur and swirl and he finds himself dizzy and off-balance. 

Our biggest goals can become DAZZLING IDOLS—just as we finally achieve them.

And if our friend carrying the football lets the goal line dazzle him, he will stumble.  You have to “keep your eye on the prize.” But if you stare into the prize like a solar eclipse, it can blind you.

So how do you reach a huge goal when the goal itself can cause you to lose focus?

You keep your eyes on the work, only glancing at the goal from time to time. Focus on your work and leave the results up to God. 

NEVER LET YOUR GOAL BECOME YOUR IDOL.

“There is nothing better for a man than to eat, drink, and tell himself that his labor is good” Ecclesiastes 2:24. 

Enjoy your WORK.  Don’t obsess over the goal.  Small goals may not be distracting—writing book reviews or having a nice lawn or buying your dream car.  But if you are approaching one of life’s major milestones, be prepared to be thrown off balance just as you are about to reach your goal. 

Focus on the process—enjoy the work and leave the goal in God’s hands.

ΑΩ

Proverbs: God’s Book on Parenting.

Parenting books are almost as popular as diet books; it’s a huge market.  You would think babies were different today—but they are the same as always.  And Solomon put the basics of parenting in the Book of Proverbs 3,000 years ago:

DISCIPLINE YOUR KIDS. 

“Discipline your son and it will bring you peace of mind and give you delight” 29:17.  “A rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a youth left to himself is a disgrace to his mother” 29:15.  This is simple: if you discipline your kids, they will bring you peace and happiness, if you don’t, they will bring you disgrace.  We have all seen examples of both.

DON’T CODDLE AND SPOIL YOUR KIDS.

“A servant pampered from his youth will become arrogant later on” 29:21.  Though this verse is about servants—the “staff”—consider how it applies to children: if parents spoil them or pamper them, withholding necessary discipline, children will grow up to be arrogant and ungrateful.

CONTROL YOUR ANGER.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it in check” 29:11.  Control your anger, even when you discipline your children.

DISCIPLINED KIDS WILL HAVE INTEGRITY—AND INTEGRITY WILL GIVE THEM COURAGE.

“The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, but the righteous are as bold as a lion” 28:1.  Righteousness—integrity—CREATES courage, because it repeatedly requires children to stand alone, to make hard choices, to go against the foolishness around them.  As they grow up, they will develop courage and boldness.

LIVING LIVES OF INTEGRITY WILL BLESS YOUR KIDS WITH GREAT WISDOM.

“Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand everything” 28:5. When your children become godly adults, living obedient lives and walking in God’s truth and wisdom, God will help them to “understand everything.”  That is, God will bless them with GREAT WISDOM.

God, make us the parents you designed us to be. Thank you for putting EVERYTHING we need to know in the Bible!

ΑΩ

When You Need Courage.

Have you ever been afraid? Fear is a difficult emotion. Sometimes fear is vague, dull, and unfocused: you feel anxious, but you’re not sure why. Other times it is acute: you know EXACTLY what you’re afraid of! Fear, whether in the form of fright, worry, anxiety, terror, or dread, affects everyone. What is the answer?

Prayer is answer number one—talk to God about your fears and He will give you peace, as it says in Philippians 4:5-6.

But there is another answer: INTEGRITY.

INTEGRITY GIVES YOU COURAGE.

If you have integrity, it will fill you with courage. How? Because when you have integrity, you are committed to doing the right thing no matter what. You may be afraid of some consequence, but integrity means you care more about doing the right thing than about your own fear. People with integrity push through their fears all the time, they do the right thing, and God blesses them. In the process, they grow more courageous. Thus, integrity breeds courage.

“The wicked flee when no one is pursuing them, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” Proverbs 28:1.

Are you as bold as a lion? If you have integrity, you will be! But the converse is also true: if you do not have integrity, you will be afraid all the time: the wicked flee when no one is pursuing them.

So if fear is ever an issue for you, whether terror or worry, increase your commitment to integrity. Total integrity—total HONESTY—will make you have more courage!

Dear God, help us have integrity. Make us honest in all that we do. Help us work hard for our pay. Help us be honest in our work and honest in our academics. Help us go the extra mile rather than taking shortcuts that are really nothing more than high-tech cheating. Mold us into people of the utmost integrity. And use that commitment to integrity to grow more courage in us. Make each of us AS BOLD AS A LION. Thank you!

ΑΩ

The Refinery of Compliments.

Raw products are nearly useless. 

You cannot clip wool from a sheep and weave it into a sweater until you refine the wool by cleaning it and spinning it into yarn. Ditto for cotton. Crude oil is a great discovery, but little of it is used in its raw state.  Instead billion-dollar factories refine oil into gasoline, diesel, lubricants, plastics, and more.  Silver and gold are beautiful, but must be put through intense heat to remove impurities.

People are the same way.

We are born raw but life has a way of removing impurities and making us useful. We are refined through adversity.  Everyone in the gym says “no pain, no gain.” That’s how we build muscles—by breaking them down.

Losses make you grow.

But wins also make you grow.

Small victories prepare you for large victories.  And there is a LOT to learn: how to be a gracious winner. How to be humble when you are the king of the mountain. How to give glory to teammates and to God. And most of all, how to maintain perspective so you don’t get a big head and ruin everything.  Honestly, great success is a heavy burden and most people are not ready for it and handle it badly. Politicians, performers, and athletes are destroyed by their own successes every day. 

Believe it or not, winning can be harder than losing.

“The crucible is for silver, and the furnace for gold, and a man is tested by the praise he receives” Proverbs 27:21.

THE WAY YOU RESPOND TO COMPLIMENTS IS IMPORTANT TO GOD.

(Did you know that?) God will PURIFY you and REFINE you with praise.  Don’t disagree with compliments. Let people praise you. But when you accept compliments, say ‘thank you,’ and SHARE the credit, share the glory by pointing to everyone who helped you including God Himself.

Accept kind words, but accept them with humility.

God, prepare us for success.  Make us gracious winners. Make us humble. Fill us with genuine gratitude for the team supporting us. IT’S NOT ABOUT ME.

ΑΩ

Dogs Will Eat … Anything!

Do you know any fools? Have you seen people do crazy things? Most will do it again. Binge drinkers will binge drink. Drunk drivers will drive drunk. Violent, angry people will again be angry and violent. Selfish people will be selfish, unless God intervenes—unless they allow Him to change them. (Have you allowed Him to change you? Are you willing?)

One of my bosses used to cite a proverb to me each time I came to his office:

“As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly” Proverbs 26:11.

Isn’t that hilarious? The way he said it implied that HE was the vomit: “So—you’ve come again, like a dog returning to his vomit?” I just smiled and swept papers off the chair so I could sit down in his cluttered office.

But do you understand the writers’ point? Dogs will vomit, then return to the spot and eat their vomit. And there’s a medical reason—but who cares? It’s gross, right? Dogs eat vomit. That’s nasty.

But fools do the same thing. They have these colossal failures, screwing up their lives in dramatic fashion: they drink until they black out, or they fight with strangers, or rob convenience stores, cheat on their wives—whatever it is—and then THEY DO IT AGAIN. If people are lost, they are cut off from the God who can change them. Thus, most are destined to repeat their mistakes—like dogs returning to their vomit.

We need to rescue people from lives of failure. We need to tell them about Jesus and His grace: He can restore and redeem broken lives. God can give value, worth, and self-control to those who have nothing.

At the same time, this verse reminds us to be careful: those you know who have experienced disastrous failures may experience them again. Be cautious that you are not dragged into their folly. Love them and pray for them, but don’t let them influence you. I pray we make God’s Word our guide in all things.

ΑΩ

Border Wall.

All ancient cities had the same feature for protection: a wall.  Remember Jericho? The wall came down and the city fell to the Israelites.  Remember Nehemiah? The prophet took a crew to Jerusalem to rebuild the walls.  Remember the movies that show invading armies scaling walls while archers shoot them and pour boiling tar down on them, and more?  Security was all about WALLS.  (America’s border with Mexico is 2,000 miles, yet the wall has never been completed.  By contrast, the Chinese built the Great Wall nearly 3,000 years ago, and it is 13,000 miles long—if it were a straight line it would reach more than half the distance around the earth!)

When it comes to security, people in history knew: IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE WALL.

What about personal security? What about your safety and well-being and that of your family?  Solomon offers a simple analogy:

“A man who does not control his temper is like a city whose walls are broken down” Proverbs 25:28.

If your anger is out of control, you are blowing up your wall, hurting yourself and your family.  If you cannot ‘temper’ your reactions, you leave yourself vulnerable.  First, you look foolish and weak.  Second, you break things.  Angry men and women throw batting helmets, vases, and dinner glasses.  They punch walls, break their hands, and physically injure the ones they love the most. 

—And yes, they DO love them.  If you have an anger problem, don’t think your love will stop you from doing something stupid.  Furious rage is a beast, an Incredible Hulk that Dr. Bruce Banner cannot control. 

If you struggle with violent anger, deal with it now.  Beg God for wisdom and supernatural help.

God, teach us better habits. Help us choose patience. Help us be calm. Remind us of who we are—and WHOSE we are. Remind us to honor You even when we are selfish, hurt, and angry.

ΑΩ

I Blame My Friend’s Suicide on Facebook.

George was one of the smartest, funniest, most talented people I knew. He was a brilliant actor. He was an empath—he felt things deeply. He had been threatening to kill himself for several years; he had AIDS and had been close to death once and refused to get that sick again.  He had taken acting lessons from Jeff Goldblum, star of JURASSIC PARK. Goldblum said, “George, this business will destroy you.” So George gave up acting, telling me Goldblum was right: George was so sensitive, the slamming doors of Hollywood would break him.  I did not disagree.

Politics became George’s religion—as it often does for the non-religious.  George became an activist.  On the web, my charming friend became a monster spewing murderous rage. George was the king of trolls, spending six to eight hours every night fighting over his pet causes.  Sometimes he told me about the battles he was having and I am convinced many of these websites were not real, but were part of the known Russian propaganda machine designed to polarize American voters[1]. 

Then came COVID-19, global shutdowns, riots and arson in cities all over America, the death of George Floyd, and the ramp-up to the 2020 elections, and George’s anger and anxiety exploded beyond all control. Finally he chose to kill himself by swallowing a dosage of drugs he knew would kill him. 

But it was quarrelling on the internet that pushed him to add murder to his sins. (Yes, suicide is murder.)

“A person who is passing by and meddles in a quarrel that is not his is like one who grabs a mad dog by the ears” Proverbs 26:17.

If you want peace in your life, STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S ARGUMENTS!

Will you end up like George? Probably not. He had many problems.  But I believe if he had spent less time scrolling and trolling, he would be alive and well today.  Had social media not yet been invented, I am certain he would remain among the living.

Stay out of other people’s arguments, both online and in-person. 

Life is too short to spend your time fighting about the same things day-after-day.

ΑΩ

[1] See the documentary film, THE SOCIAL DILEMMA.

Martin Luther King.

MLK is a hero of mine. His life was not without scandal, but God used him in spite of himself. He had a love of Old Testament scripture and early American hymns, anthems, gospel music and poetry, elements that he combined into some of the most powerful, poetic words ever uttered:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

“I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”

“When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, ‘Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!’”

MLK was amazing. But in this time of racial unrest, I want to point out that God is the Savior. It is God who rescues the perishing and brings justice to the oppressed.

“Happy is the one whose help is in the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God… He remains faithful forever, executing justice for the exploited and giving food to the hungry. The Lord frees prisoners. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord raises up those who are oppressed. The Lord protects the fatherless and the widow…. The Lord reigns forever.” Psalm 146:5-10.

We should work through government and volunteer organizations to make things right. But never forget:

“THE LORD RAISES UP THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED. THE LORD PROTECTS THE FATHERLESS AND THE WIDOW.” Pray for His help.

ΑΩ

Bucket List.

In 2007, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson starred in THE BUCKET LIST, a film about two old men with cancer who decide to travel the world together, scratching items off their bucket list. The film made the term “bucket list” famous.

What if you don’t complete your list?  Is that a fail?  No. 

Dreams give your life HOPE.

You must aim high if you are to achieve anything in life.

EVERY GREAT ACHIEVEMENT IS PRECEDED BY A GREAT DREAM. 

If you don’t dream it, you will never achieve it. 

But as you sift your dreams, you will set some aside.  Some dreams cost too much time, energy, or money.  Some are clearly not God’s will for you. So you let those go.  Because the dreams that ARE God’s will for you are going to require A LOT OF WORK!

Great achievements require both DREAMS and HARD WORK.

I last saw Uncle Bill about a week before his death.  He was still talking about “when I get that PhD.”  He would not release that dream—and it gave him hope to the end.  And your grandfather, a man of 10,000 hobbies, never got around to building a dugout canoe.  It was too expensive and unwieldy, an albatross of a project, and he was too practical to commit to it.  Somewhere along the way, he made the adult choice to let that dream go in favor of others.

DREAM BIG!  But accept the adult reality that you will only have enough time, energy, or money to check off some of the items on your bucket list. 

Your dreams SHOULD outpace your bucket list—because dreams fill you with hope.  You need dreams.

“When his breath leaves him, he returns to the ground. On that day, his plans die” Psalm 146:4.

I want to have many dreams, big dreams. No matter how much I accomplish, I want to always have new dreams out in front of me.  When I kick the bucket, there will be some blanks on my bucket list (meeting my great-grandchildren, for example)—and that is good.

ΑΩ