Remember. Genesis 35:14.

We make souvenirs of silly things sometimes. The pack rats among us save not just one childhood report card, but all of them.  Not just one or two art projects, but all of them.  Not just one or two children’s toys—but ALL of them.  Eventually you need file cabinets and a rented storage unit to hang on to things earlier generations would have tossed.

But the reverse is also true: sometimes we forget things we should remember.  We forget great compliments. We forget how amazing a victory felt, or an achievement.  And we even forget the things God does in our lives. What deserves to be memorized more than the things God says to you?  Those are things you should NEVER forget!  Because hearing God’s voice is such an amazing and personal thing, I make an effort to remember when He speaks. 

“Jacob set up a marker at the place where God had spoken to him—a stone marker” Genesis 35:14.

Henry Blackaby writes that, like Jacob, we should erect “spiritual markers” in our lives so that we never forget the great acts of God on our behalf.  Here are some of mine:

  1. Salvation and baptism (I’ll save the details)
  2. God led me to one of my childhood friends (seriously—but I did not know His voice at the time), Chris Wolff
  3. Years later, God led me to date your mom
  4. God led me to work at Tyrrell Park Baptist Church in Beaumont (and I did NOT want to)
  5. God led me to break up (again, I did not want to), and etcetera….

What has God done in your life? When has he spoken to you? Has he ever said the opposite of what you wanted him to say? It may be disappointing, but it lets you know you’re probably hearing from him and not simply imagining the answer for which you already hoped.

Make a list. Memorize everything God does in your life.

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Wrestling With God.

Jacob is the only person to wrestle with God literally. But countless others have wrestled with God, figuratively speaking. Have you? If God seems silent, or seems to be saying no, DON’T GIVE UP! Keep praying! Don’t quit until the Holy Spirit tells you to quit.

“A certain woman … heard of Jesus and came and fell at His feet. The woman was a Greek, a Syrophenecian by nation, and she besought Him that He would cast forth the devil out of her daughter. But Jesus said unto her, ‘Let the children [the Jews] first be filled. For it is not meet to take the children’s bread and cast it to the dogs.’

And she answered and said unto Him, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs under the table eat of the children’s crumbs.’

And He said unto her, ‘For this saying, go thy way. The devil is gone out of thy daughter.’ And when she was come to her house, she found the devil gone out, and her daughter laid upon the bed” Mark 7:25-30.

Do you see what happened? This young mother, a woman and a Gentile, mustered up the courage to approach a Jewish rabbi and beg Him to heal her daughter, but He said no. 

And she ARGUED! She argued with Jesus!  She wrestled with God, like Jacob: I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO UNTIL YOU BLESS ME!

And Jesus was PLEASED! And He gave her what she asked for. He blessed her, just as God blessed Jacob simply because he fought for it.

God WELCOMES your arguments. When He seems to say no, maybe He’s just waiting to hear you argue back to Him. Jesus actually told the woman “For this saying, go thy way, the devil is gone out of thy daughter.” He LIKED her answer! He liked her argument! In Matthew’s gospel, Jesus compliments the woman for her great faith, 15:28. 

It takes FAITH to argue with God. Why? Because He said no, but you have enough faith to see His heart of love, and FAITH convinces you that you can argue, plead, grapple, wrestle with God. He welcomes your arguments! Don’t give up.

“Pray without ceasing” 1 Thessalonians 5:17. “You have not because you ask not” James 4:2.

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The Hopefulness of an Open Mind.

Often there are two ways to look at things, a doubting view and a view rooted in faith.  And you may not know which view is correct.  Can you think of one topic about which you have not made up your mind?  We are uncomfortable with uncertainty.  We have to KNOW, even if what we “know” is wrong.  It is easier to pick a side and go all-in than to remain undecided. 

But some questions remain unanswered.  And those who choose sides do so based on assumptions, not evidence.  This is true not only of global issues, but in our personal lives.  Some of us, like JUDGE JUDY, decide instantly: “You’re LYING!” Yet, we really don’t know. 

THERE MAY BE SECURITY THAT COMES FROM CHOOSING A POSITION. BUT THERE IS HOPE THAT COMES FROM KEEPING AN OPEN MIND IN MATTERS OF FAITH. When Abraham took Isaac up Mt. Moriah, he was terrified, but kept an open mind.  ‘Maybe God will rescue Isaac,’ he told himself.  ‘He’s the child of promise.’  Hebrews 11 says Abraham kept the faith.

I believe Jacob did the same when told Joseph had been killed.  In spite of evidence, the bloody coat of many colors, Jacob had an alternative view.  He remembered Joseph’s dreams of the family bowing to Joseph.  The dreams were offensive, and Jacob rebuked Joseph over them.  But he also “kept the matter in mind” Genesis 37:11. 

Jacob had an open mind, and it gave him hope.  Perhaps Jacob was 99% sure Joseph was dead.  But in his darkest moments, God brought to mind those dreams that Jacob had to know came to his son from the same God who gave Jacob miraculous dreams.

God gave Joseph those dreams to give him hope.  But God gave the report of them to his father Jacob—to help him keep the faith.  And eventually, the dreams were fulfilled.

There can be HOPE in uncertainty.  Don’t rush to make up your mind on all subjects.  Take your time and never give up on faith when God has spoken.

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Do You Ever Feel Mistreated?

Have you ever been treated unfairly? Have you ever felt left out by friends or teammates or family? God sees. He knows what happened and He knows how bad it feels. Can you forgive? Can you leave the problem in God’s hands and trust Him to make things right?

We are called to trust Him, to forgive and let Him handle it.

In Genesis 31, Jacob (the deceiver) complains of having been deceived and cheated by his father-in-law Laban. For twenty years Jacob served Laban and for twenty years, Laban constantly tried to take advantage of Jacob. But one night God spoke to Jacob in a dream. Jacob had made a deal with Laban that would allow Laban to keep all the white sheep from Laban’s flocks, but Jacob could take the spotted (flawed) sheep:

“Then the angel of God said to me in the dream, ‘Jacob,’ and I said, ‘Here I am.’ ”He said, ‘Lift up now your eyes and see that all the male goats which are mating are striped, speckled, and mottled; for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you” Genesis 31: 11-12.

God tells Jacob, “I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you.” That reminds me of another passage where God tells Moses he has seen the way the Egyptians are abusing the people of Israel. God hears your cries too. God sees when you are abused. God knows when you suffer. And He will make it better. He will bring justice. He will comfort you in your affliction.

In this case, God says that He knows Laban is trying to trick Jacob out of the payment that he owes him for his work, but God is going to make sure Jacob gets what he deserves. God can take care of our needs as well.

He sees when we suffer. He knows how bad it feels. And He will take care of us.

Ask God for the patience to endure suffering, and the patience to trust Him, and the grace and humility to forgive those who take advantage of us. And for the wisdom to know when we need to defend ourselves and when we need to leave it in His hands.

Dear God, thank you that you have seen our suffering, that you know how we feel, and you understand our hurts even when those closest to us may not understand. Help us to forgive and leave our grievances in your powerful hands.

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Repeating a Pattern.

When the Bible repeats a pattern, that means it is important. Here’s one repeated within just a few pages–a single generation. When Jacob needs a wife, he travels to the land of Laban, and sees the shepherdess Rachel coming with a herd of sheep. So what does he do?

While he was still speaking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherdess. When Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, Jacob went up and rolled the stone from the mouth of the well and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother. Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted his voice and wept. Jacob told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and that he was Rebekah’s son, and she ran and told her father. Genesis 29:9-12.


The FIRST thing Jacob did—before meeting or speaking to Rachel—was move the heavy stone and water her entire flock of sheep. That must have been an exhausting chore. But Jacob was happy to do it.

He was happy to SERVE.

And right after that, he met her father and agreed to serve him SEVEN YEARS in exchange for Rachel’s hand in marriage. SEVEN YEARS. That’s a lot of service. But just as in the story of Rebecca watering Isaac’s camels, Jacob served Rachel and her father. And God promised that the child of promise would come through this line. IS IT A COINCIDENCE THAT GOD’S BLESSING FOLLOWS SERVANTHOOD? I don’t think so.

We need spouses who will serve, like Rebecca, who watered Isaac’s camels without being asked. And WE need to SERVE also, as Jacob served Rachel and her father. Marriages require humble and selfless servants—both spouses. Look at your grandparents. Those are people whose lives are characterized by service—to each other, to their families, to their churches, to their neighbors and friends. May God make us more like them. And may God protect you and lead you to spouses who serve well—and may He help you to become people who serve well.

Dear God, make us servants. May those who know us think of us not as smart, or talented, or sweet, or nice, or gifted, but may they think of us as SERVANTS.

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Do You Know What Grace Is?

Could you explain grace, or is it just a churchy, religious word for something like forgiveness? 

Grace is related to forgiveness, but it is different. God forgives His children and wipes the slate clean. But grace is how God puts value in your life after sin has destroyed it. If you broke a crystal pitcher, your mom would forgive you. But the crystal remains broken. Grace crafts the broken pieces into something beautiful and often unexpected. 

For example, when Jacob stole Esau’s birthright and blessing, Gen. 27, he had to run for his life—what Jacob did, with the help of his mom, was deceitful and evil. Sinful, clearly. 

But God, in His grace, was able to work with that, and in the end, the Messiah came through the line of Jacob. Did God WANT Jacob to deceive his father, Isaac? No. But God’s grace can take failures and sins and redeem them. God takes the broken pieces of our lives and puts them back together, a master craftsman repairing a broken heirloom. And often He uses the pieces, the shards, to make something new and different from the original crystal, but beautiful nonetheless. That’s grace. 

Moreover, through His grace, God often does things so amazing that we are left in awe, slack-jawed at the mystery of the sovereign will of God versus the free will of man. That is, by the time He is finished, the beauty He has crafted out of our broken failures is so overwhelming we are tempted to think the failure was God’s plan all along—even when we know it was not. For example, a child born to a rape victim becomes such a blessing to her, she cannot imagine her life without him. THAT is the way of God’s mysterious grace.

Did God plan for Jacob to deceive Isaac? Was it God’s will for Samson to surrender his secret to Delilah? Did God want Saul to be a poor king so David could replace him? Did God want Paul to persecute believers to prepare Paul’s heart for the persecution he would one day face? Imagine the perspective of the former persecutor: when Paul’s life was shattered and rebuilt by God’s grace, he must have been overwhelmed by the mystery of God’s sovereign grace. And it left him nearly speechless:

“Oh, the depth of riches of both the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!” Romans 11:33.

God never, ever favors sin. NEVER. The Bible is clear. But God’s grace is so amazing that He can bring incredible, unexpected GOOD out of our evil. Rom. 8:28. And THAT is what He does through grace.

Consider the acronym: God’s Redemption [of our failures] At Christ’s Expense.

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Biblical Mysteries.

There are things in the Bible that are … peculiar.  A talking donkey.  People 900 years old.  A prophet swallowed by a fish. Ezekiel’s “street-theater” messages including lying on his side for more than a year.  A day when the sun stood still.  Jesus healing a blind man with spit and mud. 

And then there’s this wrestling scene:

“Jacob was left alone and a Man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the Man saw that He could not defeat him, He struck Jacob’s hip socket as they wrestled and dislocated his hip.  Then He said to Jacob, ‘Let Me go, for it is daybreak.’

But Jacob said, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’

‘What is your name?’ the Man asked.

‘Jacob,’ he replied.

‘Your name will no longer be Jacob. It will be Israel because you have grappled with God and with men and have prevailed.’ … And He blessed him there” Genesis 32:24-29.

We don’t have a play-by-play, but somehow Jacob finds himself wrestling all night long.  At some point, he realizes he is literally wrestling with God.  Somehow the God of the universe has come in a vision or something, and decided what Jacob really needs is a good all-night wrestling match to humble him and prepare him for his new name.  The name ISRAEL can be defined as “he who wrestles with God,” “he who wins with God,” or “he who turns God’s head,” in the sense of when Israel prays, God listens.[1]

Have you ever wrestled with God?  Have you fought for something?  Have you prayed without giving up? Have you prayed with guts and boldness and determination, insisting God bless you and meet that need?  Why not?

You cannot drain God’s energy.  He will never get tired out!  He’s ready to wrestle with you!  It is we who get lazy and walk away.  DON’T GIVE UP!  DIG! FIGHT!  Work hard for your spiritual growth.  Jesus wrestled with the Father many times, often praying all night long.  Why don’t we?

God, teach us—CALL US—to wrestle with you!

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[1] https://www.ancient-hebrew.org/names/Israel.htm

Being the Right Person.

Someone once said, “Marriage is not so much FINDING the right person as BEING the right person.”  That’s a timely word in a culture that views both marriage and careers as some magical romantic fantasy where the person or occupation perfectly fits your every trait, satisfies your every desire, and renders you blissfully happy forever after. We raise our kids to expect fairy tale endings, though fairy tales never happen.  Marriage is HARD WORK.  ALWAYS.  And FAMILY is even harder work.

Remember the way Abraham’s servant found Isaac’s wife Rebekah? By finding a woman who would water his camels without him asking?

The same thing happened a generation later.  When Jacob, son of Isaac and Rebekah, was looking for a wife for himself, he met the shepherdess Rachel and immediately watered her entire flock of goats.

“As soon as Jacob saw Laban’s daughter Rachel with Laban’s sheep, he went up and rolled the stone from the opening of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and wept loudly” Genesis 29:10-11.

Again—HARD WORK.  You could say ‘well, sure, but he’s trying to impress Rachel.’  But later Jacob met her father Laban and offered, “I’ll work for you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel” 29:18.  Seven years is a LONG time.  Say what you will about Jacob, he was a hard worker—and a patient man. 

When it comes to marriage, it is not so much FINDING the right person as BEING the right person.  Be a HARD WORKER.  Forget “self-care.”  How about a bit of self-analysis?  Examine yourself, your habits, your integrity. Do you possess traits that will bless a family for decades? Are you the sort of person you would want your child to marry? Do you love Jesus more than anything else? Can you endure when things become difficult? Or dull?  Do you have the backbone to endure anything that comes your way?  Are you selfless and servant-hearted?

If not, step up your game.

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Generations.

Americans are obsessed with independence.  We want to do OUR OWN thing, no matter what.  Period. Mic Drop.

It is impossible.  As John Donne wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself.” What we do affects those around us.  Your family is a life boat. We are in the boat together: paddling, steering, fishing, bailing water, or complaining. What each person does affects everyone.

Your life is tied to your family with bonds that cannot be broken. The choices made by each member of your family AFFECT YOU. Everything we do affects each other, even across generations.

“When Esau was 40 years old, he took as his wives Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. They made life bitter for Isaac and Rebecca” Genesis 26:34-35.

Esau, a man of immaturity and bad judgment, married two pagans who became difficult daughters-in-law. When a son chooses a difficult wife, he can “make life bitter” for his parents.

But good choices also touch other generations.  Isaac may have been hurt by his son, Esau, but he was blessed by God because of the obedience of his father, Abraham:

“All the nations of the earth will be blessed by your offspring, because Abraham listened to My voice and kept My mandate, My commands, My statutes, and My instructions” Genesis 26:4-5.

Our choices have consequences.  WE will personally reap what we sow.  But we will also reap what our family members sow: YOU will suffer the consequences of your brother’s or sister’s actions. YOU will also be blessed by the good they do.  And your actions will touch them.  When a young person decides to “sow their wild oats,” they can’t just say, “It’s my life.”  What they do with their life touches everyone in their family, even generations not yet born.  

When you make good choices or bad choices, everyone in the family reaps the consequences. We are NOT independent—no matter how badly we may hope to be as Americans.

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What Are You Looking for in a Spouse?

Just as AMERICAN IDOL spawned a genre of TV talent contests, the BACHELOR birthed a litter of marriage contests.  What traits are these contestants looking for in the opposite sex?  Appearance, chemistry, and a sense of humor probably top the list, along with ambition, success, and money.

Abraham and Isaac looked at marriage differently.  Abraham sent his servant to find a bride for Isaac.  The requirement?  She must be connected to Abraham’s family and culture, not one of the local idol worshippers.  And 40-year-old Isaac?  He said nothing.  He had enough faith to leave the matter in the hands of his father and his father’s servant.

The servant had to make the choice.  But how?  He prayed.

“Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. …  Let the girl to whom I say, ‘Please lower your water jug so that I may drink,’ and who responds, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels also’—let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac” Genesis 24:12-14.

Rebekah showed up while the servant was still praying, and she offered to water his camels.  And the servant had TEN camels!

Ancient wells were different. “There was no rope … Rebekah would walk down a few stairs, bend over to fill her jar, lift the heavy jar onto her shoulder, walk back up the stairs, and dump the water in the feeding trough. 60 TIMES!  Rebekah would have seen the 10 camels and known the heavy lifting required to water them.”[1]

Was she pretty? Yes. Was she a virgin? Yes. Was she from Abraham’s family? Yes.  But the trait the servant was looking for was SERVANTHOOD.  This man who ran Abraham’s household understood family: it’s a lot of hard work!  Jobs, preparing meals, laundry, repairs, sick children, paying bills, cleaning house, and on and on.  FAMILY IS HARD WORK.

Look for a spouse who is hard-working and SELFLESS.

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[1] http://heatherjjonsson.com/watering-10-camels