How Would You Identify a Good Spouse? Genesis 24:15-21.

In Genesis 24, Abraham is getting old, and sends his servant to find a wife for Abraham’s son, Isaac. How will the servant know whom to choose? Maybe a beauty contest? How about a talent show? How does a man find a wife for another man? I won’t even buy shoes online for myself for fear they will not fit—and I know my sizes.

How can this servant choose a wife for Isaac—and also please Isaac’s father and the servant’s boss, Abraham?

First, he prays. He asks God to guide him. Don’t skip that! Nothing is more critical than seeking God’s help and wisdom. But look at what he is watching for—the trait he values:

He said, “O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham. Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water; now may it be that the girl to whom I say, ‘Please let down your jar so that I may drink,’ and who answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’—may she be the one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac; and by this I will know that You have shown lovingkindness to my master” Genesis 24: 12-14.

What trait does the servant ask to see in a future spouse?

SERVANTHOOD.

Look what happens next:

“Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor, came out with her jar on her shoulder. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin, and no man had had relations with her; and she went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up. Then the servant ran to meet her, and said, ‘Please let me drink a little water from your jar.; She said, ‘Drink, my lord’; and she quickly lowered her jar to her hand, and gave him a drink. Now when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, ‘I will draw also for your camels until they have finished drinking.’ So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, and ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels. Meanwhile, the man was gazing at her in silence, to know whether the LORD had made his journey successful or not” Genesis 24:15-21.

So what trait does the man look for? And what trait does God use to help the servant recognize the woman God chose for Isaac?

SERVANTHOOD.

Rebecca is a servant. Remember, this is before water pumps and garden hoses. To water the camels means she has to lower a bucket in to the spring, pull it back up, and pour the water into her jar. Once the jar held four or five gallons, she would empty it into the water trough. If the trough held 40 gallons (like the smaller troughs for sale at Tractor Supply Company) she would need 8 full jars, and would raise the bucket 40 times. But the trough was probably much bigger—and the servant may have been traveling with four or five camels. If it was 200 gallons, she would fill the jar 200 times and carry the jar from the well to the trough 20 times. No matter the exact details, this was a chore. And why did she do it?

The servant asked only for a drink for himself. She had NO idea who he was, but she answered, “Go ahead, and I will water your camels also.”

That shows an amazing servant’s heart. Do you have a heart like that? Do I?

Are you seeking that kind of willingness to serve in a future spouse? Because you should. Marriage and families are a lot of work. Raising kids is a 24-7 job, with no vacations. There are meals, illnesses, bills, home maintenance, your job, chores, laundry, shopping, groceries, doctor visits, sports and hobbies and birthday parties and on and on. The list is never ending.

Be a servant. Be a spouse that serves well. And SEEK a spouse who serves well.

Dear God, make us servants. Make us willing to work hard for our loved ones and families. And lead us to people that will serve us well, and serve you well. May each of us and our spouses or future spouses have hearts like Rebecca. Show us how to serve every day—and show us whom to serve every day.

ΑΩ

Your Future Spouse. Proverbs 31:30.

Marriage is hard. Really. Before we wed, my girlfriend was my best friend. We actually were prayer partners before we dated. Then we dated for seven years (marriage being out of the question due to age and circumstances). We prayed on every date—every time we got together, we began with prayer, asking God to bless us and help us to honor Him with our words and actions.

(COULD YOU LAY A MORE SOLID FOUNDATION FOR THE FUTURE?)

Yet even with a solid foundation, we struggled when we got married. The first few months were shockingly hard. And then again once our children were born, things got tough. It is so easy to become selfish and stressed out and sloppy about communication. Not only that, you have an enemy. He attacks marriages.

So marriage is hard. It is rewarding too, of course. But it is one of the most critical decisions you will ever make. Please allow me to take the liberty of suggestiong what you ought to look for in a spouse.

Ask yourself these questions:

Does he love Jesus more than me?

Does she love Jesus more than herself?

Will he humble himself for Jesus when he is too angry to do it for me?

Will she forgive me or apologize to me because she is seeking Jesus’s will?

Is Jesus more important than EVERYTHING else?

Have they ever proven it?

Do they make sacrifices for Jesus?

Is he or she a hard-working SERVANT? Read Genesis 24:12-21. Each spouse should serve the other. https://wordpress.com/post/dadsdailydevotionals.com/103

Do they say no to their desires so that they can please Jesus?

Do they spend time with Jesus every day?

Do they own and use a well-worn Bible?

Do they talk about scripture?

Can you tell they are learning new things about the Bible all the time?

Do we have conversations about what God is teaching them?

Are they excited to tell me about something they read in the Bible or a book about the Bible?

Are they excited about their church?

Do they want to tell me about it, or take me there?

Can they share their faith with lost people? Do they?

Before I ever dated my wife, I could have answered YES to every one of these questions. I believe she would say the same about me.

Will everyone be able to answer yes to every question? Perhaps not. And yes, people grow. There is grace. But the questions above are a good guide–not only about finding the right person, but about being the right person.

Consider what the Bible says. Here’s a good verse for men looking for a bride:

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is meaningless, but a woman who fears the Lord, SHE shall be praised” Proverbs 31:30.

And there are verses that can be applied to women looking for a husband. Consider God’s instructions in First Samuel—

“Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” 1 Samuel 16:7.

Think about those words—Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Ask God to help you look at the heart.

Nothing is more important than that. You need a spouse whose heart hungers and thirsts for God. This will be your partner for life, and he or she will raise your children—all their problems and issues will impact your kids. You need a spouse who is desperately in love with Jesus.

There’s a great song about a man asking out a woman and she says she loves another more, and he finally realizes the one she loves more is Jesus. That is exactly what I pray for my children: I pray you marry someone who loves Jesus more than they love you.

ΑΩ

P.S. I recognize that some argue praying together creates too deep a level of intimacy between people who are dating. And of course, stopping to pray can feel strange and awkward when the purpose of some dating is merely lighthearted and fun. I do not disagree. I am merely reporting what Wendy and I experienced when we were dating. It worked well for us. And on balance, I’d have to say praying together probably beats not praying together–particularly if praying together was a regular part of your friendship BEFORE you dated.

See the song “2 Loves” by Wayne Watson:

I fell head over heels for her
Tell me–Do ya think we could grow old together
Broken–She said that she loved another
Heartache–Feeling despised and rejected
Jesus–I heard you felt it, too
Perfect–She said her first love was higher
Jesus–Her perfect love–Is it You

Why Do We Suffer? Is There A Purpose to Suffering?

Picture of a “terra cotta wall sconce,” that is–an earthen vessel or a clay pot for holding (and releasing) light.

I can think of four reasons for suffering:

1. We live in a broken world. Every day we endure hassles caused by the Fall: illness, parasites, hurricanes, etc.

2. We have an enemy—we are attacked regularly, especially when God is planning something great.

3. God allows struggles to help you grow.

I think these three are well known. But Paul notes an interesting fourth reason for troubles:

4. When Christians suffer, God’s light shines through them.

In 2 Corinthians 4, he writes that—

“We have this treasure [the gospel message of our salvation] in earthen vessels so that the surpassing power can be seen to be from God and not from ourselves. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. We always carry around in our bodies the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that His life may be revealed in our mortal body” 2 Corinthians 4:7-11.

Consider again that first line: “we have this treasure in earthen vessels.” That is, we hold the gospel in a clay pot. The gospel is a light, like a torch. What happens if you put a torch inside a clay pot? It doesn’t give off any light, does it? So what does God do? He allows the pot to crack. Every crack lets out a little more light. The more you suffer, the more the light is revealed. Great suffering is like shattering the clay pot—and all the lost people can see the brilliant light of Christ shining forth.

So we are clay pots, earthen vessels, and the lost world watches us. They see us suffer, and that’s when God’s truth shines the brightest. (Incidentally, I believe the effect of the suffering is cumulative—it changes us enough that the light that begins escaping the pot through today’s suffering will continue to escape from now on. That’s why some of those who have walked with the Lord for many years shine so much more brightly than younger Christians—they have suffered much and their clay pot is filled with broken places where the Light of Christ shines out.)

When you suffer—if you suffer today—think about these four reasons for suffering. Ask God to use your suffering for His glory.

Dear God, thank you for using me as a witness. When I suffer, remind me that You are in control and that You will bring good from it. Help me grow through suffering. And let my suffering bring light to those around me. May they see Jesus in me and be drawn to His light and His truth.

ΑΩ

ECCLESIASTES IS MY FAVORITE BOOK OF THE BIBLE. Do You Have a Favorite?

What is your favorite book of the Bible? Have you thought about it? Have you read enough of the Bible to have a favorite? If not, why not? What are you waiting for? It only takes a few minutes a day.

The first time I read Ecclesiastes, I had just spent the hardest year of my life trying to transform myself from a D-student to an A-student. I had never bothered to study before, never made any organized attempt at anything. My goal had been to simply get by while doing as little as possible. When I realized God was calling me to address my academics—a serious and sober calling that I knew came from Him—I worked crazy hours, enduring a level of boredom so painful I could hardly believe it. I got through it, and grew from it, I brought my grades way up, and one day that summer I sat down to read Ecclesiastes….

A second part of the story was that I had spent so much of childhood discouraged and depressed, partly because of my bad grades and a resulting sense of hopelessness about the future, and partly because of things I saw every day at the “Criminal Minds” high school I was attending. Having improved my grades and grown in Christ, I was hopeful for the first time. But despair and even depression were things I could easily remember.

Then I read Solomon’s words about the endlessness of books and the meaninglessness of too much studying and the benefits of being able to have fun once in a while and to lighten up, and the value of “eating and drinking and enjoying life and telling oneself that one’s labor is good,” and I found a message of grace and hope that was exactly what I needed.

I love the Bible. I try to read through it every year. But after all these years, Ecclesiastes remains my favorite book. And this after even my own favorite preacher nearly dismissed the book each time he mentioned it. To an eternal optimist like him, the book was filled with negative messages based only on Solomon’s mistakes. But if you have faced hard realities, if depression or even suicide seems rational, few books in the Bible can speak to your hurt more perfectly than Ecclesiastes. And if you have worked your fingers to the bone in an effort to achieve anything—particularly if that thing is academic or bookish—only Ecclesiastes seems to understand that pain and to put it into perspective.

(Everyone says “readers are leaders,” and on that subject, good students are not allowed to entertain doubts. Only the writer of Ecclesiastes will admit that a lifetime of studying and books can be painful and boring and sometimes pointless, that researchers and professors sometimes spend years hunting for needles in haystacks and go to their graves disappointed.)

I LOVE Ecclesiastes. It has changed my life and given me hope and realism and grace in the face of some of the hardest truths of life.

And they are truths. The words of the Teacher—that life is futile and repetitive, that nothing is new, that study can feel or be fruitless, that grief can seem endless, and that riches and success do not satisfy—those are TRUTHS that depressed “losers” understand intuitively and unsatisfied “winners” understand from experience. They are TRUE.

Everything else in the Bible is also true of course, the hope and the light and the glory and the grace. But for hurting and lost people, sometimes nothing speaks more deeply or personally than the words of the Teacher. And I find the words of the two characters in Ecclesiastes, the Teacher and the Narrator, to be entirely consistent. Both are true, and both point the reader to the grace found only in a God who makes a way where there seems to be no way, who sends His Son for us, and who gives us hope with each new sunrise and a good meal and a hard day’s work.

I love Ecclesiastes.

—Ask God to increase your love for His Word, to make you interested, to make you passionate about it, to give you the self-discipline to read it every day, and the humility to submit your heart and life and beliefs to His Word.

ΑΩ

Have You Ever Felt the Sting of Rejection? Psalm 118:22.

If you have felt rejected, you are not alone. Jesus was rejected by the “best,” most elite people of His day, the super-religious, smartest, and most well-educated, the Pharisees and Sadducees.

But God did not reject Him—and only God’s view of things matters. Jesus quoted Psalm 118:22: “The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. The Lord has done this and it is astounding in our eyes.”

Do you know what a cornerstone is? It is a stone so perfect in size, shape, and strength, the whole building can be built off of that—it has perfect angles, so everything can be measured in relation to the cornerstone. It must be flawless, with no cracks or holes or weak spots. If a stone is flawed, the builders reject it. Jesus is saying the leaders of His day considered Him flawed and they rejected Him. But God made Him the cornerstone, the one stone so perfect God’s entire house can be built on it.

God often chooses the most rejected and uses them for His greatest glory. Think of the people Jesus healed and the people into whom He poured His life and words. Why not go to the successful? Because they did not realize their need for Christ.

When you feel lonely, depressed, or rejected, that is when God may be about to bless you the most.

First Corinthians 1:27 says, “God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong.”

God often uses us when we feel the least useful. Why? Because we are smart? Talented? Strong? No—because we are humble.

God uses humble people.

Embrace your failures. Don’t seek failure of course, but accept it, own it, take responsibility for it, and let God use it to mold you and shape you into a stone that He can use to build His kingdom.

Pray that God will build humility in you. Ask Him to give you a heart that listens to Him, and a heart that is compassionate toward others. Tell Him you are available and willing. Ask Him to send you opportunities and to use you. Ask Him to give you the right words when the time comes so that you can be a blessing to others. Thank Him for the hurts and rejections that make your heart ready to be used by Him.

ΑΩ

A Father Prays Through the 23rd Psalm. Psalm 23.

I am my family’s shepherd.

Father, help me to provide for all their needs.

Help me to find green pastures for them, moments of peace and calm and rest.

Help me to lead them to quiet waters, where their needs are met and where there is no anxiety, no drama.

Give me words of grace and comfort to restore their souls.

Show me the paths of righteousness so I can lead them to lives of holiness

That will glorify You.

And when the hard times come, when their lives are overshadowed by the fear and grief of death,

Help me show them how to fear no evil, not even the evil of death, knowing You are with them.

May the rod and the staff comfort them—comfort my family with the knowledge that their father will defend them against threats from outside of themselves, and will discipline them or encourage them against threats from inside their own hearts.

Help me to prepare a table before my family even when we are attacked by enemies.

Show me how to bless them, to pour anointing oil over them through words, affection, and acts of blessing.

May their lives overflow with blessings from their father.

Show me how to bless them with Your goodness and Your lovingkindness all the days of their lives, even after I am gone.

And may they never forget that any house I provide them—even if it were the greatest this world had to offer—is only a temporary home, but we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. You are our real Father, and Your Home is our real home.

ΑΩ

Who is the Greatest in the Kingdom? Matthew 18:1-4.

The disciples asked Jesus to name the greatest person in the Kingdom of Heaven. They expected Him to say Abraham or Moses or David or Elijah or maybe John the Baptist, but He surprised them:

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, ‘Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, ‘Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven’” Matthew 18:1-4.

Can’t you imagine their reply: A little child? Really? Ha ha. That’s sweet, Jesus. But seriously…. Who’s really the greatest? 

But Jesus was serious. So what is He saying? What’s so great about children?

CHILDREN ARE HUMBLE.

First, Jesus mentions the humility of children. Do you remember how humble you were in childhood? You were small and kind and sensitive and tenderhearted, and you listened to adults. You had to. But that changes as we approach adulthood. Can you go back, in your heart, and cultivate the humility you had as a child? It is a key to spiritual growth and spiritual greatness.

CHILDREN HAVE AMAZING FAITH.

The second thing that Jesus says makes little children the greatest people in the Kingdom of Heaven is their childlike faith. Verses 6-7 go on to discuss the punishment coming to those who cause children to stumble. Jesus loves the innocent, childlike faith of children. They never doubt.

Do you remember that kind of faith?

I remember seeing it in both of my children. I remember it in myself. But as we get older, the cares and doubts of the world creep in. We let hurts and disappointments make us doubt.

When God does not answer a prayer the way we want, do we end up blaming God? Do you blame God for something? Are you cynical and skeptical? Do your friends influence you to have less faith than you did as a child? Why not turn that around? How about you influencing your friends to love God more and to return to their own childlike faith? Is someone around you mad at God, blaming Him for not answering a prayer perhaps? Encourage them to “forgive” God and return to their own childlike faith.

After all, Jesus said we should ALL have the faith of children. Don’t let a skeptic say, “but that’s the point—you’re not a child.” That is not Jesus’s point. His point is, we should return to the faith we had as children. It is possible, no matter how old you are.

Ask Him to help you pray as a child and BELIEVE as a child. He wants us to have that kind of innocent, doubt-free faith. If things in your past, or hurts, disappointments, or unanswered prayers, or the influences of your friends are hindering your faith, go to God and deal with those things. BEG HIM to restore to you the faith you had as a child.

ΑΩ

Asleep in the Boat. Matthew 8.

Matthew 8 tells the story of the disciples being caught in a storm. The wind and waves were so bad, they woke Jesus up to ask for His help. They said, “Lord save us! We’re going to die!”

So He got up and rebuked the wind and waves.

Then He said, “Why are you fearful, you of little faith?” Matthew 8:26.

This passage speaks to me today. I have been struggling with selling my pickup truck. The Tundra is definitely my favorite vehicle of all those I have owned. On top of that, losing it marks the end of an era: the days on the farm with small children and dogs and chickens and hay and horses and rabbits and goats—it was always a lot of work, but so, so special too, and the Tundra was a big part of that and now it is dying and time to move on—and I have no money to buy even a Corolla, much less another truck. So this is tough. And the truck could stall again any time….

It’s a storm of wind and waves and even some emotion, and Matthew 8 reminds me that Jesus is with me, even when He seems to be asleep in the boat.

“Why are you fearful, you of little faith?”

I choose to have faith, to face the struggles, to work hard in the middle of the fight, and to remember that He is there, Jehovah Shammah, ‘the One Who’s Standing Near,’ also translated “the God Who is There” from Ezekiel 48:35. That’s him: the God Who is There. Jehovah Shammah.

Praise the Lord for His mercies that are new every morning. Ask Him to give you the courage and faith to stand strong, keep your eyes on Him during the storm, and to walk by faith.

P.S. In the end, I kept the truck and eventually gave it to my son, who drove it for almost a year before it finally gave out–at 440,000 miles!

ΑΩ

Sometimes You Need to “Tattle.” Esther 2:21-23.

Esther 2:21-23 includes an interesting story. When Esther’s uncle Mordecai hears of a plot to assassinate the king, he reports it, saves the king’s life, and later that act leads to the salvation of the entire Jewish race.

The point is, sometimes you gotta speak up. Sometimes the “tattler” is the hero. Sometimes the schoolyard loyalty that young people prize so highly is completely wrong—sometimes you have to report dangers and risks and crazy things your peers do or say.

There is no Biblical support for the no-tattling rule.

Sometimes it’s a serious matter and you need to speak up, even if it means an alleged “betrayal” of your best friend or cousin or sibling. Sometimes speaking up will save them even from their own bad decisions.

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Facing Tragedy? Ask God to Pour Out a Spirit of Grace and Prayer. Zechariah 12:10.

“Then I will pour out a spirit of grace and prayer on the house of David” Zechariah 12:10.

What a great prayer. If we could be overwhelmed by a passion for prayer and for grace, it would change our lives.

Is anyone you know suffering an unspeakable tragedy? I read this verse the day after a suicide rocked our community. This struck me as a perfect prayer for the hurting.

How do you go on with life after a loss like that? The ONLY way is to go forward selflessly. If you think of yourself and your pain, you will collapse under its weight. The only way to find any meaning or purpose in life when facing a crippling, devastating loss is to serve others and take your eyes off yourself.

A ‘spirit of grace and prayer’ will help the suffering and the grief-stricken to have a serving, other-centered mindset. Pray for that today.

ΑΩ